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Background: A few weeks prior to this going to print, Kim Kardashian announced her divorce after 70 whatever days. Well to me, waking up on Christmas morning is more magical than that. Yes I just filled my bowl for the third time with Brandy custard trifle, and then chased it with a giant bucket of fudge and 4 glasses of sparkling something-or-other. Because Christmas without presents is like Kate Moss without makeup.
Or Shane Warne without Liz. Also, like everyone I recently pondered the stupidity that is Kim Kardashian, and thought about Kristmas at their house. Sparkle: I love that Christmas is so shiny.
Bells ringing and trees blinging. But please! Santa: I hope someone is paying Santa the big bucks, particularly given the awkward and potentially litigious practice of having children sit on his lap to ask for presents. Santa is the master magician. Come to think of it, Coke should pay him. They invented him! Seafood: No explanation required.
Shopping for them. Wrapping them. All of it. Any occasion that makes us and supermarkets focus so much attention on chocolate and custard and pie and fudge and cookies and pudding and ice-cream and lollies has GOT to be magic. Christmas Carols reserve a special place in my voice box.
Singing them is what I call Christmas Cheer. Which makes me wonder about Deck The Halls. Not familiar with it, although it sounds wonderful. Only ever heard the word in 2 songs. Who cut the umbilical cord? Did they save the placenta? And my biggest question of all…. I mean this was pre-epidural times.